A few more of my favourite things...

The Knocked-Up Knockout
June 2007: No. 1
www.beautyandthedirt.com
Tales from the Trenches of Motherhood: A Reintroduction
Hannah Claire Shapiro

I feel like I owe you all a bit of an apology. The last seven months for us Shapiros has been a bit of a house-buying-and-renovation whirlwind. To the extent that everything else, i.e. this column, has been put on hold. We moved in on March 1st, to cement floors, no kitchen and no hot water. Now, I was never the best camper—in fact, I relinquished my Brownie uniform following my first camp experience—so the fact that I have come out the other end of these past few months with my head still firmly screwed on (although some would say that is questionable, i.e. Mister F) has left me feeling a renewed sense of pride and strength.

And so, let me reintroduce you to The Knocked-Up Knockout. Your source for the latest and greatest Mummy and offspring scoop, from beauty products and fashion, to news and tips. My first 18 months of motherhood have been nothing short of eventful. I am now looking forward to kicking back a little and letting life happen, and sharing all the tales that unfold with you. As well as a few insider tips for all you hip, yum Mums and To-Bes.

A few months ago, I heard about a fab new clothing line out of LA, called Yoga Army. Many of the items (polo shirts, tanks, dresses, skirts etc) are imbedded with original works of art; all the collection is utterly wearable and very comfortable. The dresses are ideal for all mums and To-Bes, as they are effortless to wear—the fabric is stretchy and so forgiving, which means you can wear it pre-pregnancy and beyond. Prices range from $98 for tops to upwards of $500 for dresses. Kristin Cavalleri and Lindsay Lohan are amongst the brand’s fans… need we say more?! Check out www.yogaarmy.com. The dresses can be purchased for international sale exclusively to Beauty and the Dirt/ Knocked-Up Knockout readers, by calling (+001) 626 285 0528, or by emailing the showroom directly, at yogaarmy@yahoo.com.

I have purchased a few of the Yoga Army dresses myself, as they are perfect for the year-round sun, here in Miami. I have always liked to dress femininely but since there have been two for me to dress, I find it easier than ever to simply throw on a dress in the morning, rather than worrying about clothing combinations. Not to mention that dresses are a lot cooler now that the South Florida mercury is rising to the mid-90s mark (Fahrenheit, that is). The Yoga Army dresses are perfect since, though they are a little pricey, they can carry you between seasons, with the addition of a little cardi, or from from day to night (Ballet pumps to heels). But the biggest plus these dresses has to offer is that they will carry you through ALL your trimesters and as Asher approaches the 18-month mark, I must confess, I am beginning to ponder Baby 2.

Though I had no problems conceiving last time, there is no guaranteeing the same luck with Baby 2. You see, according to Victoria Jennings, Ph.D, Director of Georgetown University's Institute for Reproductive Health, approximately 20% of women who do not become pregnant fail because they do not know when they are fertile. (These are the depressing facts you come across when writing such a column as this).

Enter CycleBeads, the fashionista’s answer to an ovulation chart! This pretty, rosary-style, contraption (developed by Georgetown University’s Institute for Reproductive Health), enables a woman to easily identify her 12-day “fertile window”. The CycleBeads are ever so easy to use: you simply move a black ring over a series of color-coded beads that represent her fertile and low fertility days. The day a woman starts her period she puts the ring on the red bead, and each day you move the ring along the chain by one bead, always in the direction of the arrow. When the ring is on the red bead or a dark bead, there is very low likelihood of pregnancy. When the ring is on a glow-in-the-dark white bead - Days eight through 19 - there is a high likelihood of getting pregnant. Genius! My set is already on order so that when the time is right, I have them to hand. And for those of you considering the move to become a Knocked-Up Knockout yourself, I thoroughly encourage you to do the same. If nothing else, you will have a new fashion accessory. You can get more information, and order your own set of CycleBeads, at www.cyclebeads.com.
Until next time,
Hannah xo

Final thought…
My best pal, Polly, recently sent me a card with a near-prophetic saying on the front, which I feel it is my duty to share with all fellow Mummies out there. The card read as follows: “Lies to tell small children: wine makes mummy clever.” Hallmark, take note: never has a truer sentiment been uttered in the course of greeting card history.

Thank goodness for vino! And good friends. Neither of which, any mother wishing to keep her sanity should be without.